A Soldier's Heart
by Caerylin
Summary: Jasper/Bella Mid thru New Moon, Everyone was upset with Edward's decision, but only one of them had the courage to do anything about it. The soldier.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Unknown

Authors Note: Ok so none of its mine, But for those who have read some of my one shots dont kill me if they end up in here ;) I've been trying to get this fic out for MONTHS! And only yesterday figured out how I would start it :)

As for the title I am opening that up for suggestion. It will stay as Unknown until I receive a suggestion that fits where I see it going, even if I have to complete the whole thing for that to happen :) 

I cant promise when updates will come as my four year old doesnt like my 'creative flow' ;p but more reviews = more flow;p

Lastly, if I have stolen any ideas from any other fics (I'm referring to Jasper Bella fics here) You have my sincere apology. I have no intention to steal anything, and have simply read too many to remember what was my idea and what wasnt. If i've therefore borrowed something from you please let me know and I will remove it or give you credit as you wish ;)

Setting: After they leave in New Moon, When Bella was well on the way to healing, obviously after she knows about the wolves, but before the jump.

Chapter 1

The days pass so slowly, Everything I try to email Alice about is returned, and I feel more alone than I ever have more scared. Stupid thing is, everything scares me but the things that should. I've been spending time with Jacob Black, something im sure none of you would be happy about, but he makes me forget a little. He says Victoria's been around looking for me. The wolves have me protected, so Its fine really. Thing is, I dont care if she finds me. I just want her to leave Charlie and the wolves alone. I dont care what happens to me anymore.  
Its like my whole life was torn away from me, and im just waiting for my body to catch up, waiting to go up in flames life everything else did.

I tell myself that im glad he left, but I dont know. I guess I dont like who I was while he was here, but i'd trade every spec of my independence to be blissfully ignorant and with you all again. Suppose I dont get wishes though hey!

Although, I wish I knew if you get these. I dont expect you to write back, it helps just to be able to get something through. Kinda like it wasnt all in my head, like im not that crazy yet. I miss them. Even Edward, although I think i'd have a broken wrist if I ever saw him again...

I miss you too... feel like maybe your the only one who would just listen... dunno why.

Bella.

Jasper finished reading Bella's latest email, then hid the laptop back inside his desk. She was so sad, and he ached to return to protect her. Edward's stupid attempt to protect her would get her killed just as they had said it would. He wanted to run. Leave everything and run to her as fast as his legs would carry him, but he knew he couldnt. He had obligations to protect the family, and she didnt seem to really need him there. She was doing better than she realised, each email getting slightly more insight into who she is and was.

He ran his hand through his shaggy hair, shaking his head in defeat. In all honesty he knew, the only thing stopping him from going to her was a direct request for him to. He had no right to her, and wouldnt presume to place himself with her unless she ask him too.

Packing up his books he'd been reading, he headed back out to the loungeroom, to his family, reciting various battle scenes in his head to stop edwards probing. They'd been forbidden to make contact. Especially Jasper after the mess that was Bella's birthday party. So he kept Edward out of his head by boring him, flashing him with blood and guts until he was sure edward had stopped looking.

Edward threw him a glare as he sat down to play xbox with Emmett and he supressed a chuckle. He shouldnt be probing through peoples thoughts anyway.

After a few hours of mindless shooting with a few tantrums from Emmett, Rosalie stormed in the room reminding Emmett he was supposed to be helping her fix the jeep and with a shy grin he left the room

"What are you hiding Jasper?" The question came out in an almost growl from Edward and Jasper raised his eyebrow at the fierce emotions coming from the boy infront of him.

"I'm not hiding anything. I dont like you probing in my head. I never have." Jasper was thankful for the ability to stay calm, glad he was the empath and nothing but the thoughts he refused to have could give him away.

"You've never purposely blocked me before." Edward was throwing out curiosity more than anything else now and Jasper knew he had no idea what was really going on, however he couldn't stop the harsh response

"Well, you've never been such a dick before." Jasper inwardly groaned. Why had he said that! It was just inviting trouble...

"This is about Bella? About leaving? You have no idea what your talking about Jasper. I told you to leave it alone." Jasper flinched as he was hit with the full impact of Edwards rage.

"You brought it up. You may be able to steal our thoughts Edward, but you certainly cant control how we feel. Im not the only one who thinks you made a massive mistake, i'm just the only one not willing to sugar coat their feelings for the baby of the family." He knew it was coming, and wasnt at all surprised when Edward crashed full force into him, knocking over Esme's favourite side table with a nasty crunch. They'd pay for that later... It wouldnt be pretty.

Jasper fell into a defensive crouch, waiting for the next blow from edward. They'd fought plenty about this. About Bella. But it'd never got this far, and Jasper was sick of standing around pretending nothing was wrong. Instead of shifting out of Edward's way as he planned, he met him at full force with a deafening roar, Edward was suddenly flying through the kitchen. The room was filled with nothing but roaring as Emmett came in to seperate the pair, but he was knocked on his ass by Edward's swing, and decided to let Jasper tear a chunk or two from him before they were stopped. Everyone knew Edward's fighting skills had nothing on Jaspers.

Suddenly the two boys came to a dead stop. Standing silently in the middle of the room was a very still Alice. She looked briefly at the two of them.

"St-op" Her voice broke at the simple word and she was gone again, her bedroom door slamming as she retreated to her personal sanctuary where she had been for the last few months.

Jaspers heart broke for the pain she felt, if anything it made him angrier at the foolish vampire standing in front of him, but he wasnt willing to cause her more grief.

"Fool" Jasper muttered as he fled to the forest behind the house. Behind him, Edward hung his head and left the house in the other direction. He knew Jasper had only said what everyone had been thinking all this time. And they were right. But he'd made his choice, and he couldnt go back on it now. He'd promised her.

Emmett stood in the now devistated living areas looking around. He sighed out of habit.

"Sure, leave me to face Esme!" He muttered as he began to clean up their mess.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Jasper sat on the clifftop staring out across the river below, listening to the peaceful sounds that came with the darkness. This had always been his favourite time of day. Even when he was human. Unlike the others he remembered almost everything about being human. He remembered what it was like to have a real family, a real life.

Casually throwing rocks over the edge, he watched them fall, spinning and twisting until they finally hit the water with a splash.

He was luckier than most. He'd had three lives so far, that of a human, that of a soldier and now, with the cullens, with Alice. He didnt hate this life, being a vampire. He felt grateful for it. It had allowed him to see and experience things he never would have. Now, that he fed on animals instead of humans, it was much easier, although he wished he could exist without harming even them, their emotions were still strong when scared, they still feared their deaths. But he made sure to hunt the over populated, and felt at peace with that.

He threw a rock a little harder than he had intended to and watched it vault through the air.

He hated how they treated him in the Cullen family though. As the weak link. Jasper Whitlock had never been the weak link. Not in all three lifespans. He'd never attacked a human before Bella, not since being vegetarian and he could say with certainty that he hadnt meant to attack her. Hell, it'd been his choice to go vegetarian, he couldnt take the human emotions crushing down on him when he fed anymore. So it made no sense that he would hurt her.

It was impossible to stand the surge of emotions that came from his family when Bella cut herself, again. Everyone except Carlisle wanted her blood. Even Edward. It had been too much to take and he had toyed with the idea of simply tasting her, which nosy edward had heard. When he pushed her backwards and sliced her arm open, the emotions were ten-fold and he couldnt take it. Jasper had snapped towards her, and so had begun this stupid course of events.

Pulling his phone out of his pocket Jasper decided he could at least try to make this right. He was a soldier at heart. He followed orders. But he certainly didnt follow Edwards. Slowly he entered the number he knew by heart, and sent a text message with his cell number. Then, feeling better than he had for months, he turned and walked back towards the house. She needed to know she wasnt alone. Edward be damned.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I own nothing, SM is awesome!

AN: Hope you enjoy :) Please review. Sorry if there are mistakes, my spell check isnt working for some reason.

Chapter 3

The minutes ticked by as Bella stared at her phone. Her heart felt like it was going to break through her chest at any second and she had to force herself to breathe.

_They were real! _ her mind echoed.

_Damnit! Of course they were real!_

Her fingers slid over the familiar scar on her right hand. Suddenly she found herself angry... So angry! All this time she's been by herself. Fighting for sanity. And now, out of the blue she was thrown a way to contact them.

_Not Them!_ Her mind shouted.

_Not Them, just Jasper._

She struggled to resist calling it, but the anger was stronger than her need right now.

_Stupid Fickle Vampires!_

Either they wanted to be a part of her life, or they didnt.

Bella tugged her hands through her hair in frustration.

_Maybe Jasper's playing with you?_

Now her mind was holding full conversations.

_That can't be good can it?_

No. She shook her head to both questions. Jasper wouldnt do that, but just incase, she wouldnt call.

Curling under the covers Bella closed her phone, placing it on her bedside table.

Isabella Swan didnt need the Cullens to survive. They'd done too much damage for her to beg them for anything. If they wanted to speak to her, they could call their bloody selves!

Her eyes closed and she fell into a fitful sleep.

The next few weeks slid by faster than they had been previously. Bella's resolve not to lean on any of the Cullens made her more determined to shake off the funk she had been in since Edward had left.

Angela was delighted to be spending more time with her, and she'd even gone on a double date with Mike Newton, and Angela and her boyfriend Ben. She wouldnt be repeating that anytime soon, but it felt good to be living properly again.

Jake was delighted to see 'old Bella' making a reappearance. To her delight she had only emailed Jasper once since she had received his message, Making sure not to mention it. Deliberately telling him without using the actual words that she was ok, without their help.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

3 weeks, 2 days.

Thats how long it'd been since he'd sent the message.

For all his best intentions, part of him regretted sending it. They'd done so much damage to Bella's life.

Perhaps Edward had been right.

Maybe she needed a life without the Cullens, without contact with any of them.

The bench creaked slightly as Alice sat down beside him joining him to watch the sunrise.

"You did the right thing Jaz. She just doesnt know it yet." Her voice was nothing more than a whisper. His jawfell open, startled to see Alice outside their bedroom.

When he pulled himself back together his guilt filled him.

"I'm sorry I didnt tell you. I didnt want Edward to know..."

His eyes swept across her tiny frame as his words trailed off. She was wearing sweats and a tee, very un-Alice. Her eyes were pitch black, the shadows under her eyes screaming that it'd been over a month since she'd eaten. But the look on her face was what broke his heart. She was so sad, Everything about her screamed it. How could they have done this? To Bella? To Alice? All for a stubbon boy...

"It's fine Jaz... I've been thinking though. I think it's time I go away for awhile..." He gently reached over and grabbed her hand.

"Al?"

"I know the family is having a hard time, but I need to get away by myself." He nodded sadly

"Did you finally see him?" His question was soft, almost hesitant. He wasnt sure he really wanted to know.

"Not exactly, just glimpses.I know we decided not to tell the family, but I think we'll need to now..."

"Of course honey..." His arms pulled her to him, venom filling their eyes as they shared a desperate embrace.

"We wont change will we Al? You'll always be my best friend right?" He nuzzled into her neck.

"No Jaz, we'll always be that. Forever." She sniffed, wishing that she could have the emotional release of tears.

"I wish I could change it Jaz... I Love you so much!"

"I know Ally, I love you too. You nede to find your mate, we knew it'd happen eventually. Be happy, and then come home ok?" She nodded, overfilled with emotion. He pulled away, kissing her lips with all the love he had for her.

Kissing her goodbye.

The family returned fromm hunting to find a sad Alice & Jasper curled up on the couch.

"What happened?" Edward shouted as he burst through the door. Jasper sighed.

_Always a drama queen_

"We need to talk to you all." Jasper started. Alice took a long shuddering breath.

"I'm going to be leaving in a few hours." The family all took seats around the grieving couple, waiting for someone to explain. Jasper raised an eyebrow at Alice, silently asking if she'd like him to explain, but she shook her head, sitting up slowly.

"Jaz and I have given you some misinformation." She glanced at him sadly and he took her hand in his.

"Jaz and I are not mates..."


	5. Chapter 5

Jasper felt the confusion in the room triple.

"Perhaps you should tell us everything Alice?" Carlisle said. Always the calm, practical one.

"When Jaz and I met in the cafe all those years ago, I told him about my vision, I had seen myself bringing him here, of us living together as companions, but that one day we would both leave briefly, and return with another... With our true mate. I'm afraid it's time for me to do that."

She let a slither of excitement run through her sadness and Jasper enhanced it and sent it back at her, squeezing her hand. He wanted her to be happy.

The room was absolutely silent. No-one knew what to say, all in shock.

"You'll really be coming back though right?" Esme summoned the courage to talk first, and Alice collapsed into her arms sobbing.

"Of course I will! This is my home! I don't know how long it'll be but i'll be back." 

Everyone said their goodbyes, Rosalie and Emmett saddest of all.

"I'm losing another sister..." Emmett sniffed when it was his turn. Alice leaned in and whispered something in his ear and he perked up a little.

When everyone was finished Alice grabbed her bags, loaded then into her Viper and turned to Jasper.

"Come for a little drive with me Jaz?" He gave her the crooked grin he knew she loved so much.

"Sure Babe"

_I see your face in my mind as I drive away_

_'Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way_

_People are people and sometimes we change our minds_

_But it's killing me to see you go after all this time_

_Music starts playin' like the end of a sad movie_

_It's the kinda ending you don't really wanna se_

_'Cause it's tragedy and it'll only bring you down_

_Now I don't know what to be without you around_

_And we know it'd never simple, never easy_

_Never a clean break, no one here to save me_

_You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand_

_And I can't breathe_

_Without you, but I have to_

_Breathe_

_Without you, but I have to_

_Never wanted this, never want to see you hurt_

_Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve_

_People are people and sometimes it doesnt work out_

_Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out_

_And we know it'd never simple, never easy_

_Never a clean break, no one here to save me_

_You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand_

_And I can't breathe_

_Without you, but I Have to _

_Breathe_

_Without you, but I have to_

_It's two am, feelin' like I just lost a friend_

_Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me_

_It's two am, feelin' like I just lost a friend_

_Hope you know this aint easy, easy for me_

_Ane we know it's never simple, never easy_

_Never a clean break, no one here to save me, oh_

_I can't breathe _

_Without you, but I have to_

_Breathe_

_Without you, but I have to_

_Breathe_

_Without you, but I have to _

_I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry_

_I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry_

Alice drove for ten minutes before pulling over and getting out. Jasper follwed suit, calming the guilt flowing from Alice before pulling her into his arms.

"You believe that I love you, dont you Jaz?" Her eyes pleaded with him to believe her.

"Of course I know Ally. I love you too. More than anything, ever."  
Pulling away slightly, Alice brushed a loose strand of hair behind his ear

"Not quite true Jaz. There'll be someone... one day. You'll be so happy! I've seen it!" A smile lit her face and he was glad for her moment of happiness.

"Dont suppose I get any hints?" She giggled and poked his chest.

"You should know me better than that Jasper Whitlock." She reached into the car briefly.

"Speaking of which, I have something for you. Open them when it says or I'll come back here just to kick your ass. Understand me Major?" He was surprised at her use of his rank. He hadn't been a Major, nor a Whitlock for some time.

"Alright pixie." He kissed her nose.

"You're going to call me right?"

"Not for awhile Jaz. I'll let you know when I find him though." Her eyes fell from his and her guilt returned. He placed a finger under her chin, bringing her eyes back to his.

"You have nothing to feel guilty for, love. We knew this would happen. I'll always love you Ally. And i'm gonna miss you like crazy. So go find the lucky bastard and come home ok?" His smile was infectious and she nodded.

"You call me if you need help."

"I'll be ok Jaz. I love you."  
"I love you too darlin'" With that she gave him another hug, climbed back into her blood red Viper and drove off. Jasper watched her go, sadness filling him.

For the first time in over sixty years, he was alone.

So he ran.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: None of it is mine, If it was I'd have Jasper in Cowboy boots, using that delicious accent all day long :)

Authors Note: Apologise for any spelling errors, Im trying to just spit it out so I can get it completed and then ill go back and fix it up. Otherwise you might end up with another unfinished fic :)

Chapter 6

He ran for hours, paying no attention to direction. When he finally stopped he lay on the ground, staring at the night sky which had arrived without him noticing.

A gentle breeze blew Emmett's scent to him and he was joined in star gazing a few seconds later.

"Hey Bro" his voice was soft, something entirely unusual for Emmett. He sounded... tired.

"How'd you know where I was?" Jasper asked not bothering to look at his brother.

"Alice left me a note saying where and when I could find you." A sigh fell from their lips at the same time.

"Gonna miss that a little bit." Jasper willed his voice to stay strong but was unsuccesfull.

"Feel like i'm losing everyone. Baby Bells, Ally, even Edward's mostly gone."

"Yeah I know Em, But Alice will be back as soon as she can. She loves us." He smiled at Emmett's nickname for Bella. Only he could get away with it Jasper was sure.

Emmett turned to face him.

"How come you're so... ok with this?" Jasper sighed again.

"Sixty years to prepare I guess. She was never really mine Em. I just got to borrow her for awhile. I'm sad, and I miss her already, but I was glad for each and every day I had with her." Emmett thought for awhile then simply nodded, standing up and dusting himself off.

"Want me to show you the way home? Al mentioned you might be lost." He smirked and Jasper was glad for the distraction.

"Ha! You have no sense of direction you big lug!" Jasper hit his shoulder, catching him by suprise, knocking him on his ass

"Oh! You better run Jaz! You tore my shirt, Rosie's gonna kill you!" Jasper had started running already and his laugh echoed back through the trees to Emmett.

"Yeah but she's gonna kill you first!

Bella tossed in her bed, getting tangled in the covers for what seemed like the hundredth time. Ugh! Why couldnt she get to sleep? She stopped fighting her bed and lay still on her back staring up at the ceiling for an answer.

It had to be the dreams she decided. Almost every night since she had received Jaspers message she found herself dreaming of the Cullens. At first she had been surprised that it wasnt just Edward she was dreaming of, but all of them. The dreams were peculiar, they werent formed around a single event or person like her dreams usually were, and everyone seemed so... sad.

_Perhaps its how you want them to be acting?_ She suggested to herself. It seemed cruel to wish them to be so unhappy though, and Bella didnt think she could wish that on them, no matter how angry she was.

She got up and put some music on to distract herself from more thinking and lay back down. After a while she dozed off only to find herself in the middle of another dream.

_Looking around Bella found herself in the middle of a spacious familyroom, everything in it was deliberately placed just so, and Bella knew that this had to be the Cullens residence. Only Esme had that sort of touch._

_Looking around She noticed Rosalie staring at her nails on the couch, Edward with his face in his hands. Carlisle and Esme walked in, Bella fought the urge to go hug the woman she had considered her second mother. She looked heartbroken. Bella looked around for Emmett, Alice and Jasper, feeling herself get more and more distressed at the picture her 'family' were presenting infront of her. Just then Emmett burst through the door in usual Emmett fashion._

_Rosalie threw herself at him as he entered and Carlisle and Esme looked at him with hope_

"_He'll be back soon. He wanted to hunt once we got back close to the house." Carlisle simply nodded and Esme lowered her head back into Carlisle's shirt._

_Bella's confusion grew. 'He' must've been Jasper, but where was he? Where was Alice? She decided to try and find out, walking out the door Emmett had just entered through. She didnt know where to go, but it didnt worry her much. It was just a dream right?_

_She wandered through the forest behind the house, listening for anything that might alert her to Jasper or Alice's presence. She heard a stream in the distance and walked towards it, amused by how detailed her dreams had become. When she got there she heard soft sobbing, looking up she found Jasper at the base of a tree, sobbing into his hands. She rushed to his side, intent to draw him into her arms. The sadness enveloping her was so strong, she found herself crying too. When she reached his side, and reached out a hand to touch his shoulder, she found herself back in her own bed, wide awake, tears still rolling down her cheeks._

Without thinking it through Bella grabbed her phone off her bedside table and dialed the one number she had promised herself not to use.

It rang six, seven, eight times and she forced herself to redial.

"What?" His voice startled her, she didnt think he's pick up. But she could hear his annoyance and sadness.

"Jasper..." Her voice came out softer than she had meant, surprised at her reaction to hearing his voice after all this time.

"Isabella?"

"Um.. Yeah."

"How did you know to call?"

"I dont know. Just thought you needed some... um... company I guess." She felt almost silly now. She could hear that something was wrong but it wasnt her place to intervene. And how had she known to call? A stupid dream?

"Um... Alice... is ok... right?" She didnt want to ask, but she had to. Alice was the only one she couldnt find in her dream.

"Yeah. She left... But she's safe."

"Oh... Ok..." The silence fell between them and somehow she didnt feel the need to break it. She lay back down and covered herself up, finding herself warmer and more comfortable than she had been in perhaps months. Just before she fell asleep she heard Jaspers voice

"Thankyou Darlin' Sweet dreams" and the line disconnected.


	7. Chapter 7

Jasper

I'm totally mad right now. I dont want to tell Charlie, I dont want to talk about it... But I had to get it out... So im totally ok with you deleting this email as soon as you read this sentence.

Jacob kissed me... and I hit him... breaking my wrist...

I know... hitting a werewolf with my bare hand was not the smartest thing ive ever done... But I was pissed off!

He totally laughed at me... Im not talking to him for... a month... at least.

Ugh!

I dont even... you know... like him like that. He's my brother practically. Yuck!

Anyway... whatever... ugh..

So... I hope things are better for you since we spoke last. Im not sure why I called you that night, hope I didnt like overstep or something

Bella

Jasper flashed from anger to amusement at Bella's predicament. He wasnt happy that Jacob had kissed her, obviously without permission, but as 'pissed' as she claimed to be she obviously had forgiven him at least a little seems he was only being ignored for a month. Honestly, he doubted it'd last that long.

Bella,

You didnt overstep, your timing was perfect, I really needed a friendly voice.

Hope your hand is ok... Hope Jacob got the hint

Jasper

Typing out a quick reply he packed his stuff away and headed out for a walk. Lately that was the only time he had any peace. Alice's departure had caused even more pain and sorrow in the house and there was no calming it anymore.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: None of it's mine. I just make stuff up.

Author's Note: I've given a fic rec at the bottom and I urge you to check it out! I stumbled upon it yesterday and have been begging the author for another Chapter ;) She got me back here to update this. Sorry it's short but it's kinda stuck at the moment and im trying to get it to a place where I can get into the story a bit more. Thanyou for those who are sticking with it! I'll try to be faster.

Jasper,

I'm talking to Jacob again. You're probably laughing at me for forgiving him so fast, but he made me a little wooden wolf all by himself, for my graduation present. I couldn't stay mad after he put so much effort in.

Everything is ok here. I cant explain it but things feel almost normal again since the night I called you. I'd like to think that has more to do with me though. I mean, I don't want it to be just because I called you or anything...

Do you think I could call you sometime and we could talk, properly I mean? I don't know anything about you... I'd like to.

Bella

Jasper smirked at Bella's email, he'd been right. Bella had taken much less than a month to forgive Jacob. He was glad she had someone to look out for her though, and even more pleased that she wanted to call. He felt the first burst of happiness in two weeks since Alice's departure warm through his body and he revelled in it, realising how much he'd missed that feeling.

Packing up his things, he told the family he was going for a walk. No-one replied, the Cullens were all finding themselves buried in their grief these days. Losing Bella then losing Alice, even temporarily was wearing them all down.

When Jasper reached the waterfall he'd found himself at the last time Bella called, he settled in against a rock, enjoying the view and dialled the familiar number. It answered on the second ring.

"Hi Jasper" She sounded tired, but he detected a note of relief, and he wondered if she thought he'd tell her not to call.

"Hi Bella. Is it ok that I called you now?"

"It's Fine Jasper, Charlie's out like a light. Think he's enjoying the full night sleep he's been getting lately, seems I haven't been waking him up." Bella swore to herself. She hadn't wanted to tell Jasper about her nightmares. She wanted to appear strong.

"Nightmares huh? I don't miss that part of sleep. I'm glad your able to sleep too." Bella fought a smile, apparently Jasper didn't miss anything.

"umm Thanks. Have you heard from Alice?" Bella bit down on her lip wondering if she should have avoided the subject of Alice.

"No, not yet. She said it might be awhile before I heard from her. She needed to do this, to get away."

"Is she coming back? To your family I mean?" She buried her head in her pillow. That wasn't awkward at all!

"I guess she won't mind if I tell you. She's gone to find her Mate. She'll return once she has him with her" Bella couldn't contain the sharp intake of breath

"Mate? Jasper I don't understand..."

"Ally was never my Mate Bella, It was more convenient to appear that way. And although I knew it wouldn't last... I really did love her. The family didn't know either until just before Al left."  
"You gonna go find your mate now too?" Bella couldn't help hoping that he wouldn't At least not just yet. It was comforting to be able to talk to him, and for now, she wasn't sure that she wanted to share.

"No Bella, I'm much too old to be running around the world looking for a vampire. If i'm meant to find my Mate i'm afraid she'll have to find me first." Jasper was surprised he hadn't thought of leaving. He found the truth spilling from his mouth before he'd given it much thought.

"Too Old? How old are you Jasper?" Bella tried to muffle a yawn but Jaspers warm laugh reached her ears and she knew she was caught.

"How about I tell you a story about when I was growing up?" A smile spread across Bella's face. She'd always wanted to know about Jasper's life, and she guessed it must be a nice story if he was willing to tell it to her before she fell asleep.

"Ok. I'd like that Jasper. Oh, thank you for calling me... It's been really nice to talk to you..."

"You call me any time you want Isabella, and if it's ok, I'll call you again when I have some time to myself."

"I'd like that Jasper..."  
"Ok, you get comfy Darlin' and I'll tell you a story about horses and cotton farms, and skies so clear you could lay under them forever."

***** Go read Leaves of Grass by Nauticalmass to see what I think his stories would be like.. without Bella starring of course. After reading this fic I wasn't sure I could make up his world without accidently stealing Nauticalmass' world. *****


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: None of the original stuff is mine. I made the rest up.

Authors note: Ok, so Lots of ppl adding me to alert (THANKYOU!) But only a couple reviews. Take a sec to drop me a line. Let me know what you think, what you like, what you don't what's out of character.. Hopefully this wont seem out of place... I had intended to drag this out longer, but I have too many chapters in my head and we need to keep going ;) For those who are looking for smut or instant romance, there isn't any. I'm not saying there isn't feelings flickering, but nothing smutty for now m'kay?

Jas,

Just got back from my date with Jacob. It was... really nice actually. I'm quite surprised :)

It started awful! Charlie decided that since he hadn't had the opportunity for awhile he should act like the 'typical father' even though he was probably happier than Jake was when I told him we were going out. Of course it failed, Jake walks in to find Charlie nursing his shot-gun, and Jake says "isn't it a bit early in the season to go hunting?"

Poor Charlie turned purple and practically pushed us out the door.

Jake decided to go with every teen movie reference he could think of and by the time we actually got to the cinema I told him to stop being stupid or take me home. He looked so relieved.  
After that we actually had fun. It was just like being around Jake any other time really. Somehow it always feels natural or something...

Although when he dropped me home he kissed me good night. Don't really know why I'm telling you (of all people) this, but I guess I'm short on confidants. I'll spare you the details, but it was nice. No fireworks or anything, but I'm not convinced that happens in real life. I'm starting to think it'd be easy being with Jake. It'd be fun. I think I could use a bit of that.

Bella

Bella,

Glad you had a good night. Poor Charlie, go easy on him! You're already 18 going on 35 ;p Let him be a dad now and then.

Sorry I wont be able to talk to you for a few days, We're in the middle of ANOTHER move! I swear this is the last one for at least a few years or I'm finding somewhere else to stay! I know us folks don't get tired, but I'm starting to feel a bit that way...

I'll give you a call when I figure out where we are. I probably shouldn't give you specifics, but I can at least give you the state :)

I've really enjoyed these last few months talking to you.

Don't do anything I wouldn't do Sugar

Jas

Bella closed her laptop and lay back on her bed. It hadn't felt like months, but Jasper was right. It'd been over a year since the Cullens had left, and although her heart still ached for most of the family, Bella felt more whole than she thought she ever would again.

If she was honest there was 3 reasons for that. Jacob was a big flashing number one. When her whole world had collapsed he'd been there without question every time she needed someone. Sometimes he'd just leave a smiley face on her car window, the smallest gesture to let her know that he was still there, and he still cared that she was too.

Number two had to be herself. It was so easy to fall into that big deep dark hole that Edward had left behind when he went. It had been tempting to stay there, curled up, protected from anything else the world could throw at her. The price had been nightmares, and misery, self loathing and pain, to herself and to those around her. At some stage she'd put her foot down, although she wasn't sure what gave her the strength to. Slowly she'd escaped the abyss and day by day returned to normality. There was definitely a few months missing by the time she emerged, but she was grateful to know that she possessed that sort of strength even if she hoped she'd never have to use it again.

Number 3 was Jasper. There was no denying that his contact effected her. Knowing that one of the Cullens was strong enough to reach out to her gave her hope, that maybe one day she would have her family back. As strange as it was, Jasper and Bella had a lot in common. They enjoyed similar music and books, found humour in the same things, but the part that Bella loved, was that they were able to find such comfort in each other. Able to sit silently on the phone, just knowing the other was there, knowing that it was enough.

Just as Bella closed her eyes ready to fall asleep she heard the ringtone assigned to Jaspers call from under her pillow.

"Hello?"

"Hey Darlin'"

"Jas? What are you doin' ringing? Your email said we wouldn't be able to talk for awhile?" Bella couldn't help the smile that crossed her face.

"Well I could always hangup..." Bella took the bait and bolted straight up in bed

"No Jas!" His warm chuckle met her ears and she wished she could get mad at him.

"Just kiddin' Turns out that I needed a little space from the family. Decided to come home for a bit. See the kids" The smirk was clear in his voice just before an almighty crash followed by some yelling.

"uh... Jas? Wanna explain to the human?" The chuckle again.

"I came back to Texas to visit Peter and Charlotte. It Seems he doesn't like being referred to as a child even if I am his sire."

"Oh.." Bella didn't know quite what to say. Although Jasper had told her his story about Maria, and being saved by Peter and Charlotte, he'd left out the fact that he'd turned them himself. Edward had always led her to believe the task was extremely difficult, and that only Carlisle was capable of it. Well that, and he'd led her to believe Jasper had the most trouble with his diet.

"I didn't tell you that." She heard his muttered swearing even though he tried to hide it.

"I'm sorry Bells.."  
"Don't be silly Jas. There's nothing to be sorry about. It doesn't change anything, I just thought Carlisle was the only one in the family who'd done that."

"Uh, so.. I was thinking I didn't get you a graduation present..."

"Jasper Whitlock! You know I don't like presents. And don't think I haven't noticed that my phone bills have been mysteriously paid for the last few months..."

"Aww you cant be mad at me Darlin'" She smiled. Stupid southern vampire...

"OK" she sighed

"What is it you want to buy me?" Bella closed her eyes tightly, trying to prepare herself for what he was going to say. It had to be big otherwise he would've just done it already.

"Well I was wondering, since you aren't going to college just yet, if maybe... you'd uh..."

"Didn't know Vamps stuttered Jas. Not a good look, gotta be honest." She laughed, quite enjoying his discomfort.

"Yeah yeah... I thought maybe you'd like to come visit me... In Texas..." Charlotte dragged Peter outside by his ear before he could make any comments at Jaspers expense. In all her years she'd never seen 'the Major' so nervous. It wasn't helping that he was projecting either. She'd already started gnawing on her nails.

"Umm Bella? Just forget I said anything ok..." Jasper was getting worried about the extended silence. Had he overstepped their boundary?

"Ok Jas. I'll come see you. Jake's heading to Phoenix to get settled in at school, so I wont be able to see him for awhile anyway... But it's going to cost you..."

Jasper was stunned into silence. She'd agreed... He was going to see Bella again... After the longest year in his life.

"Whatever you want Isabella." He sighed when his voice came out a loud whisper. Had he honestly lost the ability to speak?

"I need Charlie to win a cruise... For him and Sue Clearwater. They've been seeing each other a bit, but they're pretending there's nothing between them."

"Done. Around the world. 3 Months. That ok?"

"Perfect. Oh Jas?"

"Yeah?"

"Make sure Peter and Charlotte don't eat me while I'm there 'kay?" His chuckle brought a smile to her face, and she absently thought she could listen to that sound all day every day.

"I'll do my best Darlin' You get some sleep. You're ticket will be there in a couple of days."  
"Thanks Jas. Will you tell me some more about Texas until I fall asleep?"

"Sure. I think you'll love it here. It'll be my pleasure to introduce you to my home."  
As Bella slowly drifted off to sleep Jasper told her stories of his family, both before he was turned and after. Bella couldn't wait to meet Peter and Charlotte. She already felt like she knew them. She realised that Jasper sounded happier than she could remember him sounding, and wondered why it'd taken him so long to go home.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: None of the original stuff is mine. I made the rest up.

Authors note: Still getting lots of adds, and Thank you to those who took the time to review :) I love to hear from you guys, and you make me feel guilty enough to update. ;p

I apologise for the short nature of this chapter, but I felt like it needed to stand alone. I will however be a good little girl and update another chapter of some sort tomorrow. Cant tell you what it will say coz I haven't written it yet lol.

Just in case you missed it last time, if your looking for smut there isn't any yet. I personally find it hard to get into fics where everyone forgets their previous relationships without good reason and gets frisky coz they can ;p Jasper and Bella have to figure each other out first. That being said this is the first time in a year they've seen each other so enjoy it ;) And im not sure im gonna let Bella go home... I love Peter and Charlotte ;))))

REVIEW PLZ :)

The old woman seated next to Bella shot her _another_ frustrated stare. Bella grimaced. She was trying to stop fidgeting... honestly!

"Whoever he is love, he cant be worth all those butterflies" Her voice was kind, if not condescending, but Bella just smiled in response and went back to studying her fingernails. Perhaps she should have painted them or something?

Finally the mysterious overhead voice announced it was time to leave, and Bella grabbed her belongings and shuffled into the cue leaving the plane. Uselessly trying to tidy her hair a little, and straighten her clothes.

Once through the arrivals gate her jaw dropped to the ground upon seeing three very attractive locals against the wall, complete with boots and hat.

The one she assumed to be Peter reached her first, grabbing her round the waist and swinging her while inhaling. She had to fight the urge to laugh as he put her back on her feet, and tipped his hat.

"Howdy Miss Bella. Pleasure to make your acquaintance. I'm Peter, and that..." He pointed behind him "Is my stunning wife Charlotte. The fool next to her might look familiar, but I don't think you've had the pleasure of meeting the real Jasper Whitlock." Casually he slung his arm over her shoulder as he eased her forward, closer to where Jasper leaned casually against the wall, legs crossed, hat over his eyes trying to look as calm as possible, even if his tapping foot was giving him away.

He pushed his hat away from his eyes and she watched amused as his eyes roved her body at human pace. As Bella finally met his golden stare a smile broke out on her face and she decided she just might like Texas.

"Well Jasper Whitlock, I do believe it's rude to stare. Thought a country boy like you would have more manners." She didn't miss the chuckling coming from Peter and Charlotte behind her.

"My apologies maam. You must be Isabella, coz you sure don't look a thing like the Bella I used to know. She was just a kid, You, Darlin' may well be the most beautiful woman I''ve ever had the pleasure of laying my eyes on." Bella couldn't help the blush that spread across her cheeks as Jasper grabbed her hand and brought it to her lips. She turned her head away in embarrassment only to meet the gaze of the lady from the plane who was unashamedly staring.

"I take it back love. He's worth that and more." And with that the lady threw her a wink and walked away as Charlotte dragged Bella away from Jasper's grip.

"Come on Sug, Let's go show you Texas."

Bella threw a fleeting smirk at Jasper who was still staring and wrapped her arm around Charlotte's waist.

"I'm liking it already Char"


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: Not mine. If it were we'd see Belsper twilight as a series :)

Authors note: As much as I'd love to say im not going awol again I wont. I'll try not to.

To the person who messaged me yesterday to ask me if this story was done, the answer is no, and this chapter is for you. Im not sure it'll ever be done. In my defence I did get married between this chapter and last, but mostly im just unable to get my mojo going ;p Sorry if im making you read the whole thing again because im taking so long between updates, I understand if you wanna wait until the day i'm (hopefully) finished.

I love everyone who reads, and super love anyone who reviews :)

Song used is ready to love again by lady antebellum. I've tried to avoid Lady A for this fic, but something about their music screams at me to use every damn song in this story, so you'll have to bear with me ;) As per usual to understand the emotion in the moment, always a good idea to listen to the songs I list lyrics for.

Enjoy – and thank you for sticking with me.

The days that followed were wonderfully relaxing. Charlotte took Bella shopping and to a beauty spa ( A place Bella thought she'd never go voluntarily) Peter took every opportunity to make her blush claiming, when Charlotte or Jasper came to her defence, that Bella needed to loosen up a bit.

The rest of the time was spent with the girls sitting around the pool in their new bikinis, while the boys were inside playing xbox, and smashing up the house when one of them lost.

"Sooo Bells... I've been trying to wait patiently... Honestly I have... But the suspense is killing me!" Charlotte propped herself up on her elbow throwing a shadow over Bella's pleasantly warm body. Raising her sunglasses onto her head, Bella's eyebrows furrowed in confusion.  
"Sorry?" Charlotte rolled her eyes.

"Honestly Bella?" She waited expectantly for Bella to say something, and exhaled with frustration.

"Jasper!"

"What about Jasper?" Bella glanced over her shoulder to see the boys wrestling on the floor in the lounge room. Her lips turned up into a smile she couldn't stop as she watched Jasper pin Peter to the floor. Charlotte followed her gaze and suppressed the urge to help Peter.

"That Bella! I told myself I was gonna wait, Honestly I did. But you don't know how long it's been since I've had a friend, and apart from that..." Charlotte took a breath and calmed herself down. Her voice dropped to a soft whisper, the emotion as obvious as the sparkles on her skin.  
"He's never been this happy Bells... He needs someone like you. The weight that sits on his shoulders... He's a good man. He deserves to find his place in the world."  
Bella sat up surprised.  
"You think I have some... something to contribute to that? To his place in the world?" Charlotte nodded in response. Bella shook her head in denial

"I'm sorry Char. I've never known someone like Jas, I hope he finds whatever it is he needs, But I'm just a friendly voice a thousand miles away. I'm not sure what you expect me to do for him."

"You're here now though..." Charlotte urged

"Yeah, and I'm happy to help him anyway I can."  
"You aren't getting what I'm saying Bella... I'm talking about you and Jasper..." Charlotte was cut off mid sentence by a very annoyed looking Peter.

"Honey..." Charlotte looked very guilty all of a sudden.

"I'm Sorry but you can't expect me to..." Peter stood above where Charlotte lay, giving her a look that said it was exactly what he expected her to do. Charlotte bit her tongue, lying back with a defeated sigh.

"fine."

Bella at this point was very confused and looked to Peter to explain whatever it was that she was obviously missing as Jaspers arms appeared loosely around her neck.

"Perfect timing Jas. You and Bella are going out. Picnic in the sun so my spidey senses tell me." Bella opened her mouth to protest but Peter cut her off.

"Everything is fine Little Bit, Char's just bein' nosey, right Sugar?" Charlotte looked apologetic.

"Sorry Bells. Have fun today." With that Charlotte took off at a run with Peter a few paces behind her.

"Huh... was that odd to you too?" Bella tilted her head back to look at Jasper

"Yup. Peter always is a little odd though. Now... About that picnic!"

An hour later Bella found herself sitting in the middle of a golden field on the softest blanket she'd ever felt. She couldn't seem to stop her hand from running over the soft fibres as she looked around at the remnants of Jasper's childhood.

"Not what your expecting?" Jaspers trademark smirk fell onto his lips as he felt Bella's wonder and confusion.

"I guess from all the stories I kinda expected a house..."  
"By the time I left Maria and went searching for my past, the house had already been destroyed. There was a huge fire here in the early 1900's." Bella lay back on the blanket looking up at the cornflower blue sky and the fluffy white clouds floating by. Sadness tinged her emotions. Jasper lay back beside her, their hands brushing lightly against each other.

"It probably sounds stupid, but even without the house and the barn, without the people and the animals, It still feels like home... Something in the air, or the earth. I've never felt at home anywhere else." Jasper watched as a beautiful smile lit up Bella's face.

"I get that. I wonder if it's just Texas? I've never been here before in my whole life, but I feel like I shouldn't ever leave. That I'll never be happier, Never be more at peace than I am here."

"I'm glad you like it here. I'm thinking of staying here from now on. Take a break from the Cullens for awhile. With Ally gone, there's no reason for me to stay. I think it's time I stay with my family. And you Darlin'..." He picked up her hand, cradling it gently in his own as he brought it up to his lips and graced it with a gentle kiss. "Are welcome any time, for however long you like..." The intensity in his words brought heat to Bella's cheeks and for a moment she wondered if that same intensity was present in any other situations. He smiled and arched an eyebrow at her as his cool fingers moved lightly on the underside of her wrist making a delicious tickling sensation that increased the heat rapidly growing in the rest of her body.

"We gonna play that or is it her for decoration?" Bella croaked out breaking the staring competition they'd been having, nodding at his acoustic guitar he'd brought along.

"You know how to play?" Jasper ask with surprise, reluctantly releasing her wrist and handing her the guitar instead. Bella responded with a smirk of her own.

"Have to do something with all the soul searching I've been doing lately. Seemed more cost effective to sing than to write a hundred journals."

"Then the stage is all yours Darlin'" Jasper sent her a much needed burst of confidence and Bella took a deep breath and started.

Seems like I was walking in the wrong direction  
I barely recognise my own reflection, no  
Scared of love but scared of life alone

Seems I've been playing on the safe side baby  
Building walls around my heart to save me, oh  
But it's time for me to let it go

Yeah, I'm ready to feel now  
No longer am I afraid of the fall down  
It must be time to move on now  
Without the fear of how it might end  
I guess I'm ready to love again 

Jasper found himself captivated with the girl in front of him. Her eyes closed as she sung, her fingers dancing over the strings of his favourite guitar. Her voice wrapped him up in strings of comfort and beauty and he swore he could almost see colours from the emotions swirling inside her.

Just when we think that love will never find you  
You runaway but still it's right behind you, oh  
It's just something that you can't control

Yeah, I'm ready to feel now  
No longer am I afraid of the fall down  
It must be time to move on now  
Without the fear of how it might end  
I guess I'm ready to love again  
Bella's eyes unconsciously opened, and she found herself unable to look away from the golden orbs in front of her as she finished her song.

So come and find me  
I'll be waiting up for you  
I'll be holding out for you tonight

Yeah, I'm ready to feel now  
No longer am I afraid of the fall down

It must be time to move on now  
Without the fear of how it might end  
I guess I'm ready, I'm ready to love again

Before he could stop himself or understand why, he found himself hoping that she'd meant what she'd been singing. He kept his eyes locked with hers as his fingers lightly brushed the side of her face, a trail of heat instead of ice following his touch as her breathing hitched and her heart stuttered a little at the intensity flowing between them. He leaned in, placing the softest of kisses on her cheek, Changing direction at the last second from his intended destination. He felt the confusion and disappointment swirling around him as he stood and offered his hand to Bella.

"We should get back..." His voice brought her back to reality as she shook her head to regain her senses.

"Yeah. Of course..."


End file.
